Recently, The Lord has been showing me something I never expected: That he created all manner of people, (of course) and that sometimes the enemy makes us believe that good things about ourselves are by necessity, evil.

As an example, God recently forced me to confront my Sadistic/Masochistic side. I wanted to deny even having one, because how could he possibly be happy with people that enjoy pain? But he showed me that my masochistic traits help me to endure difficult/painful situations (like surgery for example) more easily. He’s shown me how my sadistic side can, with his guidance, teach me how to avoid unintentionally hurting others. Or if I need, use pain to get someone to give up a fight without doing long-term injury.

He also showed me that the enemy can twist these gifts and traits towards evil means, but that simply having such traits isn’t a bad thing alone. Even more so, he’s shown me something else: If I cannot accept my dark nature, and thus learn about it, the enemy can twist it towards evil means even more easily. Further, he called us to give our all to him (Christ.) If I could not accept my dark nature, I could not let him have all of my life. How can a person give a gift they deny even exists?

Towards that ends, he’s shown me that he, quite intentionally, gave me a dark personality, and has shown me to embrace it. It makes me feel all the more humble, that I am loved for exactly who and what I am, without being expected to be someone else. He may grow me out of my sin, but not out of my dark personality. A metaphor would be an artist, who finds one of his black-lacquer artworks in the mud. He would clean off the art, and restore it’s shine. But he would leave it black; after all, he never intended to paint it white in the first place. In this way, the Lord has been cleaning me, and taking the white paint away from my hand, so-to-speak.

This is why I love the piece by Lokai2000 called “A lonely walk.” [link] Albeit a bit more risqué than I usually tolerate; it speaks to me about this very subject. He stated that to him she seemed “up to no good.” I actually think of her as a “dark good-guy.” And if, to me, she represents a “dark Christian,” her clothes, if you can call them that, represent to me that she’s come from a rough world, and her intentions will likely be misunderstood by others. Please don’t misunderstand, I don’t endorse a “whatever floats your boat/anything goes” way of living, but I also understand and firmly believe that if you care for someone, you must give them a little grace/wiggle-room to get things right. And that’s where the picture’s risqué nature actually has a deeper meaning for me. Lokai2000 may not have intended anything other than a hot demon-girl, but it struck a deep chord with what I’ve been going through lately.

Recently, a poem came to me about this very subject. I've been refining it, not sure if I'm finished or not: [link]